Kissing the Coronavirus

Author: M.J. Edwards

Published: April 22, 2020 by Viralerotica

Length: 16 pages (short)

HEA: unknown

Wet Panty Meter: 0 of 5. This book is more hilarious than sexy, but hear me out.

Review: First off, it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged. This will happen. I’m still alive. However, since this is a book blog, I have to…you know, read the books. Sometimes, I just don’t feel like reading romance and my Book of the Month boxes have been really good and loaded up lately with actual literature, so I’ve been reading some non-tawdry stuff.

I did manage to squeeze this short in though.

Apparently, there is a new genre of trash erotica in the Amazon store that revolves around COVID. I also read “Scissoring the Coronavirus” by Gabi Tich in my research into the COVID erotica genre, so pick that one up if you want the lesbian version of a main character finding her COVID-riddled roommate attractive enough to ride.

Getting back to this particular short book by M.J. Edwards, you can see I gave this a zero in the wet panty meter. I’m not saying this book sucked. Not at all. As far as I’m concerned, this book could give Dickens a run for the money. This is certainly giving the people what they want and giving the public a taste of current events. But this book was way funnier than sexy. If the author was going for funny instead of sexy, than the author deserves a fucking standing ovation.

So what made it so funny?

Similes.

Yes, I said similies. The author uses them throughout the book to cause both eyerolling and even a few laugh out loud moments.

Example: “Alexa pulled down her lab pants and pulled her panties to the side, her pussy so wet that the lace glided across her skin like a fat man on a water slide.”

If you tell me that similes like the above are more hot than funny, I will immediately smack you with a “BULLSHIT.”

Another Example: “Even the sound of the virus made her ovaries clash together like cymbals.”

My Personal Favorite: “Alexa’s heart fluttered like it had the time she’d fucked the farmer’s cross-eyed son and uncrossed his eyes.”

In addition to the awesomely hilarious similes, you get gems like, “She loved beards, and a moustache was only the start of a beard, like micropenises are just the start of real penises. You need the rest of it for it to be truly meaningful.”

Ultimately, I got a chuckle out of this one.

The author Chuck Klosterman once wrote an essay about what type of author would be famous 500 years from now. He noted that many authors were not known in their day and ended up being revered for their work hundreds of years later. He implied that the author of our time that will be most famous in 500 years is probably someone unknown and under-appreciated at present time. My money is is on M.J. Edwards and the obvious historical importance of this work since COVID will be considered a historical event hundreds of years from now. I’m betting this fluffy 16-page short will be eyed as historic and a brilliant way humanity coped with the current pandemic.

I hope so at least.

Bravo M.J. Brav-fucking-o.

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